The Art of Playing Bigger: Why Ambitious Women Are Rewriting the Rules of Career Success
Picture this: You're earning close to six figures, leading important projects, and receiving glowing performance reviews. Your expertise is recognized, your work ethic is unquestioned, and by every external measure, you're successful.
Yet something feels off.
You watch colleagues, often less qualified ones, advance faster, speak with more authority in meetings, and seem to effortlessly command the kind of respect you work twice as hard to earn. You find yourself thinking, "I could do that role," while simultaneously questioning whether you're truly ready for it.
If this resonates, you're not alone.
The research confirms what many high-achieving women quietly experience: McKinsey's 2024 Women in the Workplace report reveals that for every 100 men promoted to manager, only 81 women receive the same opportunity. This phenomenon, known as the "broken rung," gets even worse for women of color- only 54 Black women are promoted for every 100 men.
But what if the solution isn't playing their game better- but playing a bigger game entirely?
What if instead of constantly adjusting to fit existing frameworks, you could strategically expand beyond them? What if the discomfort you feel isn't a signal to play it safer, but an indication that you're ready to play bigger?
This isn't about becoming someone you're not. It's about amplifying who you already are.
The Hidden Cost of Playing Small
Let's start with an uncomfortable truth: playing small isn't protecting you. It's limiting you.
The numbers are staggering:
European financial services shows a 36% gender pay gap at board level, according to EY's 2025 Financial Services Boardroom Monitor- a gap that actually widened from 31% in 2019
Women now hold 29% of C-suite positions (up from 17% in 2015), but women of color represent only 7% of these roles
In tech specifically, women earn 84 cents for every dollar earned by male counterparts, with the gap being 15-20% in many European markets
But here's what the statistics don't capture: the personal cost of constantly adapting to systems that weren't designed for you.
Research from Textio's 2024 analysis of 23,000 performance reviews reveals the hidden barriers:
78% of women are described as "emotional" in performance reviews compared to only 11% of men
56% of women receive feedback labeling them as "unlikeable" versus 16% of men
Women receive 22% more personality-based feedback rather than work-focused evaluations
67% of men are described as "intelligent" in reviews compared to 32% of women
When you're constantly adjusting to fit in, you're not expanding to stand out. You're playing their game on their terms, with rules that create systematic disadvantages.
What Does "Playing Bigger" Actually Mean?
Playing bigger isn't about being louder, pushier, or adopting masculine behaviors. It's about strategic expansion-amplifying what you already have while creating new possibilities.
The Four Dimensions of Playing Bigger:
1. Expertise Ownership
Instead of: "I think this strategy might work..."
Playing Bigger: "Based on my analysis of similar markets, this approach will deliver 15% higher ROI."
2. Opportunity Creation
Instead of: Waiting for promotions to be offered
Playing Bigger: Identifying gaps, proposing solutions, and positioning yourself as the natural choice
3. Network Expansion
Instead of: Building relationships within your immediate team
Playing Bigger: Cultivating connections across industries, functions, and seniority levels
4. Impact Amplification
Instead of: Executing assigned tasks excellently
Playing Bigger: Delivering results that create ripple effects and set new standards
The Science Behind Strategic Expansion
Understanding why playing bigger feels uncomfortable, and why that discomfort signals growth, is crucial for ambitious women.
The Imposter Syndrome Reality:
Multiple studies reveal competing findings about imposter syndrome:
Hays research of 8,000+ employees found 70% of women experience imposter syndrome versus 58% of men
KPMG's study found 75% of female executives have experienced it during their careers
However, Korn Ferry data suggests 62% of men report workplace imposter syndrome compared to 46% of women
The key insight: Women may actually experience less imposter syndrome because they've had to prove themselves more thoroughly to reach their positions. As one researcher noted: "Women don't get as many chances to lead companies compared to men... Women have to build their confidence more independently."
Performance Review Bias Creates Additional Barriers:
Women are 1.4 times more likely to receive critical, subjective feedback
This contributes to 30-50% of the gender promotion gap
Women receive 26% more unactionable feedback (particularly Black women)
High-performing women receive negative feedback 76% of the time compared to just 2% for high-performing men
The Ripple Effect: Why Playing Bigger Matters Beyond You
Here's something powerful: when you play bigger, you don't just advance your own career- you create possibilities for other women.
Research shows measurable impact:
Each woman in senior leadership increases the likelihood of other women's advancement by 23% (Catalyst research)
Companies with gender-diverse leadership outperform peers by 21% financially
Teams led by women who "play bigger" show 28% higher performance ratings
The compound effect addresses systemic issues: At the current pace, it will take 22 years to reach leadership parity for white women and more than twice as long for women of color, according to McKinsey's projections.
Every woman who plays bigger accelerates this timeline for everyone else
Common Myths About Playing Bigger (And Why They're Wrong)
Myth 1: "Playing bigger means being aggressive or pushy"
Reality: Strategic expansion is about amplifying strengths, not adopting behaviors that don't align with your style.
Myth 2: "I need more experience before I can play bigger"
Reality: Research shows women feel "ready" for roles when they meet 100% of qualifications, while men feel ready at 60%. Readiness is often overrated; strategic action creates readiness.
Myth 3: "Playing bigger will make me seem 'too ambitious'"
Reality: A 2024 Harvard Business School study found that women who strategically expand their roles are rated as "more leadership-ready," not "overly ambitious."
Myth 4: "I should focus on work-life balance instead of expansion"
Reality: Women who play bigger often report better work-life integration because they have more control over their roles and greater engagement with their work.
Your Bigger Game Starts Now
The question isn't whether you have the capability to play bigger—you do. The question is whether you're ready to stop adapting to games that weren't designed for you and start creating games where you can win.
This week, try one "bigger move":
Share an insight publicly instead of keeping it internal
Propose a solution instead of just highlighting a problem
Position yourself as an expert instead of "someone with an opinion"
Apply for a stretch opportunity instead of waiting to be invited
Remember: 29% of C-suite positions are now held by women- up from 17% in 2015. Every one of those women once felt exactly where you are now. The difference is they decided that their potential was worth the discomfort of expansion.
Your bigger game is waiting. The only question is: when will you start playing it?
